Exam Fever University Style

I've been meaning to write a post for the month at the least but it never happened until now. Well, my "excuse" is that this past one month has been the most hectic period since I started my 1st ever semester in the university. It has been cramped up with tests, presentations, more tests, assignments, write-ups... the whole lot. You just name it.

Right now, I'm in the midst of having my university exams which happens at the end of the semester. Yup, good news and bad news here. Good news is that it's the end of the semester. Bad news would be the horrible phase of exam that the whole university student body, including I, myself are going through.

I've been through a lot of exams in my entire life. I mean, who has not right? There's always something new to experience and this is my 1st university experience. So far, it has been okay for me... I'm trying to stay afloat. Not all too well but God is good!

It's difficult to study for university exams. Yes, difficult! There are no key answers to past year papers, there are no spoon-fed notes like what we have in high school, only limited help and resources available. It's a little overwhelming at times. I've been spending a lot of my hours in the university library, reading up on my modules' materials, searching for better information from the books (can I tell you that I still suck at finding suitable books in the library? Sucking at finding my course related books takes up even more time!) and trying very hard to just study and revise.

Now I know how hard it is to prepare for a university exam. But then again, I just have to muster up all my courage and brace through this week and I'll be done for the semester. I can't wait for the holiday. 

However, before I start drooling and pining on my coming holidays, I must continue to strive and carry on with my revisions (eeeeeeeessssshhhh~~ I hate studying!!). Coming here for a post is just an excuse to procrastinate my revisions. Heh... I'm a bad example - do not learn this from me!

The above cartoon speaks right through me. This is just too true... for me that is. Hahaha.. just something more entertaining than my writings at the top. 

4 more days to go and I'm done (for the 1st semester that is :P),

Hannah :)

Mid-Semester Break OVER and GONE

Well well well... what's up people? I haven't got the time really nowadays to drop by for a post because guess what? My mid-semester break is officially over and I'm back in uni for classes, tutorials and lectures now.

I'm back here for a short post because I'm currently suffering from a writer's block from writing an essay for my English Language & Linguistics class (yeah... so everybody knows that I'm taking this module... for now). How I wish there's like some magic pen or maybe with a clap, my essay would magically be written, ready to be submitted already. But then, who am I fooling right?! All university students go through this phase I suppose.

I love attending my lectures and classes (really!!! well, maybe not all of them but most! :D) but when there's like so many assignments dumped on you, or in my case, when I get many assignments and project,  I get kind of demotivated to even do them. Like, I lost all my willpower or something. I get really cranky and easily irritated when I'm doing my assignments. (So, don't come near me when I'm doing my work or I'll bite! Just Kidding~~)

And with my writer's block, I decided to come in for a little while and post something on the blog. Hoping that I'd maybe get some inspiration somewhere, somehow to continue my essay.

This reminds me of a picture, titled "Don't Give Up!".

I know I'm not digging for diamonds but you get the meaning of what I'm trying to relay here. I'm trying to give myself a pep talk here like "Giving up is for losers!!" or "Don't be a chicken!".

So yeah, that's what I'm currently experiencing, right here, right now. I guess it's hard for now but I believe that hard work pays off. That's how the saying goes right?

Other than that, I finished most of my assignments except for a couple of my essays and a small part of a video project that I'm working on with a group of friends. My Korean video is done and submitted!! Hopefully, it fulfills my teacher's requirements and get a good grade for it. I find the Korean video that 3 of my friends and I made very funny!! Okay, maybe VERY FUNNY TO US only... but I can never watch on because it's SO EMBARRASSING! *fingers crossed that my Korean teacher won't show it to the rest of the class*

Oh and before I end for this post, I came over a pretty cute cartoon. It's "OCTOBEAR" now! Hahaha!! Get it?! Get it?! "OCTOBEAR" = "OCTOBER"??!! Oh okay.. not funny.

Lame, I know... Well, I've got to get going now. Have a great week ahead errrrbody!!

Gonna go finish up my essay now, toodles!

Hannah

p.s. Was supposed to publish this post at around 11pm but then there was an electricity outage in the house. Took up about 40 minutes to fix it. So here it is! :)

The Better Person

Today, I broke down and cried. I cried in disappointment, in anguish... 

There's so much emotions stored up in me, that I couldn't take it anymore, that I just sat down and cried. I tried to recollect myself but I just couldn't. The many feelings that has been kept inside of me, the feelings that no one else besides me that knows and understands... the bottled up feelings just came pouring out through the streaming tears, flowing down from my eyes, staining the bed-sheet and the clothes that I was wearing.

I just cried and cried and cried. While crying, I was praying. I was asking God to calm down my heart. I prayed for peace and for comfort... but the tears just continued rolling down my face. Like God was just asking me to just cry it all out instead of keeping all the negativity that I gradually stored inside of me.

It was the first time in a long time that I've cried so hard that my shoulders just shook uncontrollably. I cry because I'm hurt. I cry because I'm tired. I cry because I'm angry with myself. I've put up a strong front for a long time that I've exhausted myself and had to cry to relief myself.

I've always been trying to be the better person among the people around me so that I can see them be happy. I'm the kind of person that becomes happy when I see others being happy, most of the time though, not always as I'm only human.

This is me.

The person who tries to give the best to the people around her. 

The person who gives in to others so that they could be happier. 

The person who does the unwanted job that nobody wants to do just so that everyone is happy in the end.

The person who gets into unfavourable circumstances so that the people around her can stay in their own familiarities, their own comfort zone.

Despite being the better person (not all the time because I'm imperfect), have I lose out? I find that I've thrown myself into a deep hole unknowingly, unable to get myself out at times. There were many times that I really did not want to be the better person, like the time where I was being volunteered by others to do the things they didn't want to do so that they can stay in their own skin.

I wondered if the people around me have ever spared a feeling for me or ever tried to understand me. Have they tried to understand where I'm coming from? Have my being a better person gave others an upper hand, taking advantage me? Have my giving in become a norm that they can do whatever they want?

There's many questions that I asked myself, like why am I always the disadvantaged one? Why am I always stuck in these kind of mess? Why is things so unfair? Why don't I get treated better when I've treated everyone as nice as I could?

Sometimes, being the better person sucks. I'm not asking for any acknowledgments but it would be nice to be treated a little better. It's like me being the better person has become a natural to them, sometimes even being taken for granted.

I tell myself at times, why do I even bother? Does anybody sees the good works that I do? 

I was doing my quiet time a little later after my breakdown just now. Right then, this verse came across. It's not the first time such a thing has happened before. It's like the words that God has wanted to tell me or something. 

Colossians 3:17 (New International Version)

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I don't do good things or be the better person just because I want others to see all the works or the sacrifices that I've done. It all comes back to the starting point. Seeing others happy makes me happy as well. Though not all the time, I would try to tell myself that it's all worth it.

To all the people who have been the better person just so that I could have better opportunities, I'm very thankful to you. Even though I could have forgotten to thank you, I would like to say a BIG Thank You to all of those who've been so considerate and nice to me. To me, your selfless sacrifices and love has been so amazing that I'm constantly inspired to be the better person. 

After much crying and praying and the Bible verse that I came across during my devotion, I felt a sense of calmness and peace over me. Because to me, God was the BIGGEST and the BEST person of all time, sending His Son to die for us on the cruel cross so that we may have salvation. 

Always and after remembering how Christ has sacrificed Himself for us, it makes me want to be the better person. It's not always easy, but I'm sure with God's strength, I can do all things.

Love and Grace,

Hannah

One month in one post

It's been a month since I've posted anything here, on my blog. A month can be rather long... or short, depending on how you look at it. No worries, I'm still alive and well, living everyday as best as I could.

I've been really busy during the past month. Busy with the Lunar New Year, busy processing my school stuff, busy with my other commitments. It sure has been a hectic month, full of life's ups and downs but nonetheless, I'm still thankful that I'm still living and kicking... just not sure if I'm as sane though after this 1 month. HAHA! :P

I went to KK to celebrate Lunar New Year with my paternal family whom I visit only maybe once or twice a year only. I always enjoy being back there because I miss my paternal family a lot. I mean, I get to eat really yummy foods made with love by my aunt (my dad's older sister. Oh yeah, my aunt is like ONE OF THE BEST COOK EVER!), go shopping (KK has like many more shopping centers than in Brunei definitely), just wandering around and try as many nice food available everywhere and just simply enjoy the bonding time with my grandma, aunts and cousins.

After the trip to KK, I've also been busy, busy, busy especially with the school things. My friends also helped me out a lot by ferrying me to and fro (because I can't drive yet. Thank you so much, Ping and Pistachio!). I'm thankful for such good friends.

It's not all that bad but the stress can really get to you. I find myself crying a lot (yeah, I cry when I'm stressed out. Crying is like an emotional outlet for me. I think I need to find a more POSITIVE outlet) and being really edgy and frustrated all the time.

I need to say that I'M REALLY SORRY to all the people whom I've not been really nice too at certain times where I just snap back and be really hostile because I was really stressed and mentally exhausted. THANK YOU so much for enduring my unfriendliness at times. It's just that when all the things get piled up, I tend to just break down.

I'm only human. I'm only skin and blood and bones. I'm not perfect.

I fell, I cried, I crumbled but everything will be just fine.

Keeping strong,

Hannah

Fears and Worries

Warning: Lengthy post ahead. * Don't say I didn't warn you. *

I've not updated my blog for a while now. I've been travelling for a little bit over the past couple of weeks... and I'm procrastinating to story my travel tales at the moment. However, if the mood to ever tell my tales sets in, I shall.

January has come and gone so fast! Can you imagine that?! It wasn't too long ago when it was the end of 2012 and just the beginning of the year, 2013. Now, 1 month or 31 days have passed. It's just too fast. Don't you think so? Or is it just me that feel this way? Oh, hello February.

Half of me is looking forward to this month whereas the other half of me is dreading the days of February. It's a really mixed up feeling inside of me.

Why I'm looking forward? Because Lunar New Year is just around the corner, I get to go back to my hometown to celebrate it with my paternal family whom I see only once or twice a year.

Why I'm NOT looking forward? Because the A Level results would be released really soon. It might be today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Nobody knows except for the people handling the results in the Ministry of Education.

Anyway, I'm currently spending my days anxiously waiting for my A Level exam results to be published. This period of time is such a terrible and fearful one to me because I'm absolutely terrified of how my results will turn out to be.

I gave my best but still, I think I didn't do very well. So, I'm not looking forward to knowing what's my results are. I'm never the brightest student but I do work hard and try my best at it. Since after my exams, I have been trying hard to just ignore the fact that it's over and done with already. My personality, my character, my nature just always tend to over-think and over-worry. Also, I never have the confidence.

I try not to think about it and just live my life as per usual but the worries, the fears are instilled already deep inside of me. It's been 2 months and I find myself in a mess by doing so. I can't fall asleep  easily because this matter lingers in my mind always and I can't sleep well because I'm always having weird or bad dreams, or that I'd wake up to find myself crying from my sleep. I find my stomach churning and my head turning whenever I think about it. My mood for the day would just change for the worse.

I'm not even exaggerating. I find myself hard to comprehend even. It's mentally and physically exhausting. People might find me being such a wuss, being irritating or annoying due to my insecurities. Some might question me for the reasons behind my insecurities because what's done is done. I can't change anything.

Hopefully, my results would be an okay, satisfying one. I'm not hoping for straight A's because I know very well that'll never happen. I just want it to get me somewhere.

My dad would sometimes notice my worries through small talks and he'd tell me to commit these into my prayers. From here, I find myself not entirely placing my trust unto God and that He'll do the rest and pave the way for me.

I'd cry because I'm not able to place all my troubles and worries unto God. I'd cry because I think I'm incompetent. I'd cry because I'm scared. I'd cry because I think I will be a disappointment.

I'd feel like hiding in a hole or running far, far away or cooping up alone somewhere and just not face the world, face reality, face myself.

Perhaps it's the past memories that had and will scar me forever. Words and actions that had etched into me because I'm such a disappointment especially to my mum and dad a couple years ago. Maybe it's because of the bad events that still continue to haunt me, even until today. I've lost my confidence, lost my cool, lost my sanity.

I'm really uncertain what the future might hold for me BUT from today onward, I will be even more fervent towards my prayers and my quiet time. To reconnect myself with God, to be even closer to God, to try and place all my trust unto Him, to ask God to relieve me from all my burdens and my fears.

I sincerely pray and hope that everything would be alright in the end and that my worries would prove to be nothing. Also, there's still this part of me that's trying to prepare myself for the worst that is to come (which I hope it will not happen).

~ Hannah ~

Uncertainties

Today has been rather slow for me. The sky is gloomy and dark today which makes me feel very lazy and tired. That can't work out for me since I have to do my revisions. All these kind of suck for me because I hate studying for exams. 

Well, I've been doing some thinking.. you know, about life and the future for me. This is hard because I have no idea or whatsoever what I want to do or even to be. I shudder at the uncertainties that life holds for me. It's like walking in a never-ending stretch of path in a dark tunnel, finding the bright light that everybody said is at the end of the tunnel. My life is filled of "what if" s. What if this, what if that, what if everything. 

It's a little frustrating seeing everyone else being sure and enthusiastic (or not?) about their future plans, what they're going to do, what they're going to become and where they're heading to. Well, this are just some thoughts that were in my head for a while. Some people are always telling me that, "You should think about my future already!" or even ask me, "Why are you not worried?!". 

Hey, not to sound rude and all but I just want to say that without anybody telling me those, I'm also thinking about my future, my life ahead and worrying about all the things that are around me already since a few years ago. It's just that I really have no idea at all. I hope that all things will fall into its place soon. Thinking about all these is stressful and tiring. 

As I grow older, I finally get to see what they meant by "life is not a bed of roses". As I grow older, my worries and frustrations definitely piled up. As I grow older, more responsibilities to shoulder, I have. What is life without challenges? Hopefully, I'll get to see the bright light at the end of the tunnel soon.

It's me against the world.

Hannah

-------------------------

"Hello World" by Eia is now available for purchase and download on iTunes and Amazon. Go check it out and show your support! :)

-------------------------

Hanging On

1 paper down, 10 more to go. It's been one week since the start of my exam period and I'm feeling very demotivated already. This can't be happening to me but I'm hanging on in there. It's a phase that all students have to go through. I must persevere and endure. Bitter times now, sweet memories later. 

And so, my youngest brother has already finished his PSR (Primary 6 exam in Brunei. Similar to the Malaysia's UPSR and Singapore's PSLE). Seeing my brother enjoying his freedom, makes me feel a little jealous of him. However, I'll tell myself that I don't need to be jealous because once I finish my exams, I would have an even longer holiday. YAY! Can't wait for that to happen. So, for now, I must press on. Study, study, study!

Exam sucks :P

Hannah

My Inner Blues

Today has been one of the days where I'd feel so down and low, as though I can't climb back up the ladder after falling down from it into a deep pit. So much has happened today and there's so much thoughts within me... Disappointment? Relief? Sadness? Happiness? I have no idea how to actually describe what I'm feeling right now. All of these feelings have all mixed and rolled up into an ugly ball of feelings.

This morning, I started my mock exams (some would call it a qualifying exam). I had my MIB (Melayu Islam Beraja also known as the Malay Islamic Monarchy) paper this morning. This MIB paper is one of the paper that I dread so much because I had to write all of it in Malay and it's not really a secret anymore if you do actually read my blog. I guess it went well, I did my best for that paper, wrote as much as I was able to. The only part that I missed out doing was the Jawi (arabic words) part. I forgot all of my Jawi already since I stopped learning Jawi in Primary 6. So, hopefully, I won't fail this MIB paper and get a credit for it at least.

I went home after my MIB paper to do some last minute revision for my Sociology paper which was in the afternoon. There was so much to study that I tried to memorise as much as I could but I think I did it again. I kind of pushed my panic button <--- really guilty of that. Sorry Mr. Ess, I couldn't stop myself from panicking when I saw the questions on the paper. The entire duration for my Sociology paper was 3 hours long. The longest paper that I have ever sat for in my entire life. My bones were aching and I was getting restless from sitting down for so long. I felt so stiff but I couldn't move from my seat since it was an exam. I wrote as much as I knew after my panic attack where my mind went blank. It was a horrible 3 hours. 3 hours 3 essays. How great is that. =.=

After the Sociology mock exam was over, hand phones of the students started ringing here and there. All I could guess at that moment was," OH MY GOODNESS! THE JUNE AS RESULTS ARE OUT!". And.... I was right. It was still in the exam hall, mind you and I could hear shrieks and cries of the students. Out of joy or grief, I won't know since they're not my friends but I do suppose that one student actually scored a really good grade for sociology that her sociology teacher got so overwhelmed and cried on the spot. Congratulations to whoever you are! :)

I was, of course, scared and nervous while waiting and holding tight onto my phone. I registered for the results to come through my phone to me and it's one of the things that I hated. Every buzz that my phone makes, due to other notifications on my phone, makes my heart skip a beat and I would actually stop breathing for a moment. My results didn't actually came to me until a while after I got back home from the sociology exam. 

Well, all I can say is that my results were what I expected or maybe a little better than what I expected since I actually thought that I was gonna fail one of the subject. BUT no, I didn't fail any. Praise the Lord! The results were mediocre and I told my parents about it. They weren't the happiest camper about it but at least I wasn't thrown into a hot, fiery furnace for not getting the results that they wanted. It was then I felt disappointed because I had disappointed my parents with my results since it wasn't what they wanted. I'm not the A kid, though I always wished that I was. 

Even though I was a disappointed, a wave of relief hit me hard. I didn't fail anything and I manage to get all credits except for the one that I thought I would fail. My friends and I were twitter-raging the entire time after the results were out. Some were the happiest receiving such great results however, many of us were accepting the fact of our not-so-good results. Oh well, we can't change the ugly truth can we?

Oh boy, am I ever glad that I actually had such supportive friends like Lin and Sophia who encouraged me again and again, not to give up hope in achieving a better set of grades when I retake my papers again in October. Lin and Sophia are like my sisters from another mother. Though both of them do not know each other personally, I do still appreciate them and love them WITH ALL OF MY HEART! God bless you two girls. Haha!! This is when I realised that friends are just so important. "I would rather have 4 nickels than a 100 pennies." - as quoted from some person on twitter. Lin and Sophia were the perfect pick-me-up after a wholesome 2 hours of being depressed over my results. I wouldn't have come out of my "mini-depression" that quickly if not for them.

But again, I was relieved after all these waiting and anticipating for my results. I'm glad that this is over and done with. I'm thankful that mum and dad weren't as pissed as I thought they would be. I'm grateful for my parents who told me to work harder for the next retake exam instead of throwing me insults to let me fall deeper. I'm grateful for my friends who encouraged me to not give up and to keep pressing on. I wouldn't have gone far without any of them. Most of all, I'm thankful for God answering my prayers because only God knows the perfect solution to every of my problem, no matter how big or how small.

Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my FAVOURITE verse in the Bible. Whenever I'm feeling at a lost, I would always remember and think about this verse and then I'll be feeling a lot better after reading through this one verse. How God works in many ways to comfort and to heal one's soul. 

This is such a wordy and a lengthy post but it totally describes a little bit of how I'm feeling at the moment. I hope that things will get better in time.

I'm singing my blues~

Hannah

Disclaimer: Photos do not belong to me unless stated so. All credits to the original photo uploader.

Belated Monday Fun

Counting down 3 (4 including Sunday) more days until it's officially another school break for us students in Brunei. I know it seems recent that school has just started for me after the second semester break but how time flies! It has been more than a month already. This upcoming school holiday would be the third semester break which would be 2 weeks long. However, I don't think it'll be holiday time for me since I'm having my mock exam right when school reopens. What a bummer!

As I've mentioned in my previous post, Monday was a public holiday for us in Brunei. It was a well spent day for me. It's sad to say that I didn't spend my day studying, like what a good student should. I kind of went out the whole day - Morning with the family, afternoon through evening with my friends. What fun! :) 

Mom woke me up on Monday morning after my parents have sent my youngest brother to tuition asking if I would like to have breakfast with them. Being such a big lover to food nice daughter, I agreed and we went out for DimSum. I love DimSum and having DimSum originating from the Chinese makes me so proud! :D It was a great breakfast which satisfied my DimSum cravings. *Have I ever mentioned that I have a lot of cravings just like a pregnant woman?* I skipped grocery shopping with the parents after breakfast, reason being it's really crowded these days and I'm claustrophobic or it simply being that I was just so lazy. Sorry mom and dad! 

So, Sophia came and pick me up around 3 in the afternoon because she had planned a movie outing with a few others to sort of "unofficially" celebrate Zee's belated birthday. We watched Total Recall. I have heard tons of reviews from many people about that movie saying that it's a must-watch, really good, interesting, awesome movie. As you know, I'm just not an action movie watcher but to me, Total Recall was pretty good. It's all in the future with flying vehicles, floating buildings and the sorts (which totally reminds me of Avatar. LOL).I wouldn't want to spoil the movie for those who have yet to watch it, so I'm not going to blab all about the whole story plot.

With Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel as the protagonists, the movie wouldn't be that bad to watch. Guys just ogle at the ladies whereas Colin Farrell is a pretty good eye-candy to the girls. No? I would suggest you watch it clear-headed otherwise you would end up not really understanding the whole thing because it's just so darn complicated at first. Sophia and I were asking each other during the first half of the movie if we understood what's going on. We both shrugged and only caught the ball on the second half part of the movie. Just go watch it if you're just so curious. ;)

After the movie, the group of us went for sungkai (the breaking of the fast) at Buffalo Steahouse. The whole restaurant was packed with customers when we arrived. They served a whole lot of food, ranging from asian to western. Rice, pasta, fish and chips, ikan bilis (anchovies?) burger. The food smelled great and the taste was good. Good only because some of the dishes fell short of my expectations. However, it's worth a try. Eat all you can for only $16.90 per adult. I forgot the kids price but it should be reasonable too. There's soup and salads for appetisers, tons of main courses and there's many cakes and drinks for dessert too. Sounds pretty good right?

Sophia sent me home later after dinner. Throughout the entire day, Sophia has encountered her own series of unfortunate events. A total of 9 of them. It was mostly pretty funny but a couple were quite scary. A couple of them I remember it vividly. It was when we were going home, just right when Sophia turn out from the junction in the ever, crowded Gadong, a woman dashed out right in front of the car wanting to cross. Sophia immediately braked of course while the both of us were screaming inside the car. Hey woman, there's a pedestrian crossing further down the road, why just cross the busy road, full of cars and try to make a run for it? It's so dangerous!! If you don't care about your own life, think about others. If we didn't braked in time, there would be severe consequences. Even the Beatles used pedestrian crossings. LOL.

Then just right after the woman dashing out in front of us, the car directly in front of us made a sudden stop as well. A group of woman wearing black burkhas were crossing the road just like the lone woman did. Like woah!! We almost banged into the car in fornt of us as well because of the sudden brake. See, this is a perfect example of using the pedestrian crossing. It's a short walk to the pedestrian crossing. Save you life, save others as well.

Oh, another neighbour's domestic helper found a kitten in the wee hours of the morning today. She couldn't keep it so she just gave it to my domestic helper hoping we could keep it. This one is a female kitten which is a good companion to Tigger, my other kitten. Both are so hostile to each other. Any tips on how to make them get friendly at each other? Because if they're still hostile at each other after a couple of days, we might not be able to keep this new kitten. :( My kittens are exactly the same colour as the last 2 kittens in the picture below.

So, I should get back to my books now otherwise, I'll be in big, fat trouble in a few weeks. Shall be back soon. :)

Trying to study,

Hannah

In the midst of the heat

It's been almost a week since I last posted anything here. It's not due to laziness this time but just that I can't find the right time to just sit down and type it all out. Today is a rather lazy Monday. No excitement, no enthusiasm. Just nothing at all. Walking and feeling through my day as a zombie. I think that I'm forever feeling sleepy no matter how much I have slept. Is that just me or what?

School went fine. New topic in Accounting which I currently find easy but as time passes, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to take back all my words about this being rather easy. Positively sure! Had 1/3 part of Accounting Test on Saturday and I can say that it was pretty tough.. nobody whom I knew or asked got the figures or amounts balance. Right... a few more coming up and I don't see why I'm looking forward to it. I'm feeling that the first part of this week is going to be a little challenging for me and hopefully for the second half, it's all gonna be okay and relaxing. HAHA!!

The weather today is hot as usual.. or hotter? I don't know why that the weather in Brunei is like this all of a sudden. The sun is always out, minimum clouds, blazing and shining brightly, no rain, not much wind except for some times. I wonder if the Sun is getting closer to the Earth or is the Earth getting closer to the Sun? I bet the Earth is also sweating buckets while saying this. The weather is just unpredictable at times because after saying that the sun is out, the rain might fall the next second. It's like I jinxed it by saying it. Haha! Well, I'm not God who knows when the sun or rain will be out but for one thing that I'm sure is that I must be grateful for this weather while other places might be freezing cold. (I think I would like that... or not) :P

I'm going to end this short post with a video. This video is just so sweet. She's beautiful, no more the tomboy image that we used to know. All grown up. :') Ella wrote this song about being thick-skinned, chasing after her own love.

With love,

Hannah

Holiday, how I miss thee...

School has only started 2 days ago and I'm already missing and yearning for more holidays to come.Is it just happening to me or am I just weird? During the semester break, I've seen some who posted statuses saying that "Holiday is so boring.." or even "I'm so bored during this holiday.. I miss school". Wow! I sometimes just wonder what did they spend their time on to make them say that.. Most of them who posted these are the younger ones. No worries, you'll learn to appreciate holidays more when you're much older. Trust me. ;)

I appreciate all the holidays. As a matter of fact, I LOVE HOLIDAYS!! It's like the best thing ever. I get to do and accomplish so many things that I wouldn't have been able to do during school days. Man.. I'm so dreading school right now.. Tests, homework, class assignments.. Oh gosh! A Level is really different from O Level or in secondary school. No doubt that in Brunei, we do half the subjects of what we have for O's which would be like doing 4 or 5 subjects in our A's, however, the workload is double of what you're going to get while in secondary school.

When my aunt told me those "words of wisdom" before I started my A Level, I thought she was actually just joking around or making me feel pressured or scared but it's no joke. Sometimes, there's just so many assignments to do that I'll only get a few hours of sleep just before going to school. For A Level in my school, we use the block system where we see our teachers every single day (except for English where it's just 4/5 lessons out of a school week) and they will just give and dump a wholesome of work unto us and expect us to submit whatever work that they have assigned to us the next day. This is really bad especially for Mathematics and Accounting. Hohoho... non-stop assignments and wall-banging moments. I kid you not.

Moving along from my rant, I had a spontaneous outing with my nom nom bestie. We went to have lunch and then off to Cheezbox to have some dessert while doing our homework. My nom nom bestie introduced me to her friend from another school. Yay! Made a new friend today. He's pretty funny. Haha!! Overall, I had fun today + school was a big help in boosting up my mood for the day as I had a rather light load of classes and assignments for today. :)

Oh, bums went back to Singapore today. Had a short outing with her yesterday for the last time before she leaves. We went to the Time Square area because going to Gadong is just overrated. We walked into Citis Square and voila, Gloria Jean's Coffee is finally opened in Brunei. They had a soft opening on Monday but yesterday was really the official working day. So, the two of us went to try it out. Not bad I would say. A few cents cheaper than Coffee Bean for some drinks. Not sure about the number of varieties but I would say that Gloria Jean's Coffee offers some food and beverages that other places won't offer. Something for a change. :) Coincidentally, Gloria Jean's Coffee Brunei was having their Ladies' Day (happens every Tuesday), so us ladies get 30% off. What a good deal eh? ;D

A good news for me too! My aunt just came back today from UK for her summer holiday. Weee~~ another outing buddy. Gifts and souvenirs I love! Haha!! It's been so long that I miss her so much! Great to have her back. Can't wait ;) 

Missing my holiday,

Hannah

The last taste of freedom

School reopens tomorrow with the start of the third school semester. Which means today is the very last day that I could actually enjoy my freedom because once school starts tomorrow, I'm going to have my privileges revoked. Well, actually I shouldn't complain since today is really, actually a public holiday in Brunei and that gives us students and extra day of our holiday out of our one week break.

I was planning to sleep in today because I don't think I'll ever get to do that when school reopens. Coming to think of it, I don't think I've ever slept in during this holiday because of tuition and other stuff. How sad is this. :( However, mum knocked loudly on my door to wake all of us up at 8+ to get ready for something, breakfast trip maybe but dad has to go to work. What a bummer! So now, I'm like sleepily awake.. might drift back off to sleep. :P

I'm really dreading the start of the third school semester. In a few more days, I'm having my first APR(Assessment Test) for Accounting.. it's going to be a 40 minute test instead of 1 hour. Nyeh.. it's going to be separated into 3 parts as always.. which gives us a week of break in between. So, not looking forward to my Maths P4 Mechanics Test in the next month and I have lost ALL of my confidence in Sociology. Great~~ Those AS absolutely did me no good. Instead of boosting my morale, it pulled me down.. real low. Oh boy..

I'm going to have to try even harder now to actually study and hope for the best. I haven't been doing the things that I once did before and I actually miss them but due to exam and revisions, I can't help it but push them aside. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over!!

So, I'm going off to enjoy my day now. Have a great holiday!! :)

Carpe Diem,

Hannah