Pet Thoughts

WARNING: Lengthy and wordy post ahead!

So... I'm back! After almost 10 months of absence... Yup, university and life commitments make me put off blog posting. It was something that I mentioned that I would try to keep up with but it wasn't a priority. Anyway, back to what I came here for. It's somewhat like a late night musing for me which I wanted to record down.

It's the exam period right now and I had 2 papers done and over with, leaving with just 1 last paper coming this Saturday in 2 days time!! So to procrastinate doing my revisions (I'm a rebel :P), I went on to Facebook to you know... catch up on the in things and to stalk check up on current things that my friends are up to. However today, there were a couple of postings regarding a similar issue that has got me thinking for a while now. Coincidence?

Those postings were about a bear being a roadkill which was an accident and then a Taiwanese celebrity (but down-to-earth) couple losing their pet dog of 14 years. 

Regarding the bear, it was an unfortunate incident since in Brunei, we don't really get to see many of these wildlife animals roaming around (but we do get a lot of those pesky, cheeky monkeys though). It kind of baffled me as to how some people were blaming the driver for the death of the bear. Well, I don't see how it's possible to have a car having to brake in time and stop for the bear when it (most probably) came out of nowhere. Where's the compassion and understanding amongst the people?

Then as I scrolled further down my Facebook feed, there came a picture with the husband caressing their pet dog of 14 years with the caption written in Chinese (I've translated it into English over here) saying:

"It's Thanksgiving Day today... the pet dog we raised for 14 years has gone back to heaven. We are really upset and reluctant... We are thankful for the 14 years of companionship. We shall meet again in heaven."

Now... that actually made my tears free fall from my peepers because it was making me think back on what I've actually been thinking over the past few days (or more so, it was something that has been at the back of my mind for a long time but only during the past few days, I've gave it a serious thought).

All my life, I've always wanted to raise a dog as a pet. My ideal pet dog has always been a Golden Retriever. I mean... come on, look at those doggies. They're so fluffy and cuddly and too adorable. How can anyone not like them yeah? I feel so happy whenever I see pictures of them and it fills me with so much adoration for those dogs that I want to drown them in my love and force them to love me back! HAHA!!

However, my parents were always against the idea of us raising a dog as a pet. Well... to be fair, there were a few reasons that we can't keep dogs as pets, such as we're not living in a dog-friendly environment, we were (note: past tense) lacking of responsibility in taking care of pets and our houses that we had lived in were too small to keep such an active dog. I admit those and it was fair thinking for the dog too if we were to get one.

Earlier this evening after dinner, I came across a posting of dogs evolving after 100 years of selective breeding which made me go into searching about Golden Retrievers. I felt a little sad reading this post below. How can people do this to animals just so that they can get a blue ribbon for it?!

I wikipedia-ed "Golden Retriever" to dig up for more information about it and instead of being all hyped up about getting one (since we are moving to our own place with has a bigger area and now, dog-friendly), it actually made me think twice about getting one now.

It seemed like this breed of dogs get sick really easily with cancer and aches and pains and what-nots. WOW!! It was pretty overwhelming reading about so much how much pain one dog can go through and it hurt my heart just thinking about it. Then came the Facebook posts that got me thinking even more!

I'm a person with attachment issues. Yes, you read it right - attachment issues. I'm pretty attached to the people that I'm close with or feel comfortable with, things that I own (no, I'm not a hoarder :P) and also animals that I come in contact with. Being too attached has caused me quite some heartache because people come and go (in a good way) like leaving for further studies and what not and I even cried and bawled my eyes out when I had to flush down the guppy that we kept and raised for more than a year when it went belly up!

When we first moved into this place I'm currently staying at, there was a stray cat that was always at our place and it didn't seem like it had an owner so I decided to take her in and keep her as mine. I named her Mimi (how unoriginal I know) and I was pretty attached to her too. We left for a very short vacation and upon returning, she's gone. Like forever. Not sure what happened though but I hope it's not an accident like what the neighbour's maid actually said. You can't see it but I felt really upset on the inside losing Mimi.

There are many stray cats around my neighbourhood and to not let them die of starvation, my dad and I gave out free cat food in our backyard. An action that my mum frowned upon on the outside but I think she has a soft spot for the cats secretly on the inside. A few cats actually stay in our backyard and right now there's 2 of them but I feel really sorry towards them because I refuse to get close to them like what I did to Mimi. The mortality rates of the stray cats in my neighbourhood is pretty high as we or more so my dad has had to bury so many of them especially kittens.

What happens if I do actually get close to them and making them mine exactly only to have them part from me if they do actually die? So the only relationship I have with the cats is to feed them. As simple as that. Okay.. I've sidetracked TOO MUCH. Back to the topic.

So... if I were to get a dog... will I be able to withstand the heartache that comes with it should it get sick or even die? What happens if my dog gets sick? What will I do? Do I put it down to sleep or let it fight it's sickness just because of my own selfish attachment issues with my dog? What hurts me even more is that animals can't talk. They can't exactly tell you where they're hurting or what they need. If that situation were to happen, I can't think of what I will do? I can't bear to watch it waste away in front of my eyes, neither do I want to part from it.

With these, it made me think a little more whether if I want to actually keep a pet because I don't think I can handle the emotional and attachment issues that comes with it well. So.. this shall be one of the things that I'll be brooding on for the time to come.

If you're still reading this until the end, good job on being so ever patient to read through the whole lot of my late night musings. It might be all over the place but that's how my mind is right now - all over the place. 

Much love,

Hannah ;)

Happy New Year 2014

First post of the year, dedicated to you. Yes, YOU!! :D

I just want to wish you a Happy New Year! May the new year of 2014 bring you abundant joy, love, peace, hope and blessings. Enjoy and remember the wonderful moments that the year may bring you. I hope you're ready for the adventures that the year is bringing you! 

Best wishes and love,

Hannah :)

Day 365 of 2013

As you can tell from the title above, TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR!!! This year has gone by incredibly fast! I felt like there's still so much to do, so much yet to accomplish and all. Like how time in the world is never enough. The bittersweet feeling, the mixed emotions that I get during this time every single year...

In the previous post, I said that I'll do a post that wraps up my entire 2013. It won't be every single detail of my year but just a few of the highlights of my 2013. The ones that are worth remembering and looking back at and the few moments or events that I don't mind sharing with the rest of the world (since I'm a very private person, there are many things or most things that I keep to myself and no other).

Let's see... first up on the list:

[1] Turned the last of my teens. I've never officially stated my age here on my blog but if you're smart enough, you might have already guessed how old I am already through the subtle hints that I drop in some of the previous posts. I do feel old especially when my birthday is in 2 weeks.

[2] Started into university to study for an undergraduate degree that is supposedly to help and come into handy when I apply for jobs after I graduate from university. Second semester starting in a week! ><

[3] Got my driving license... which I have yet to fully utilise although I do drive sometimes to familiar places under the supervision of my dad.

[4] Had a nice family vacation to Singapore earlier this month. With the whole family, all 5 of us. (It has been 2 years since the last family trip overseas which we went to Hong Kong. I LOVE HONG KONG!) It has been rather hard to coordinate everyone's schedule for a nice, relaxing holiday.

[5] Went to Universal Studios, Singapore (USS) for the very first time. Plucked up the guts to go for a few rides that were quite thrilling. Sporty enough for a timid person like me but not too sporty enough to go on those death-defying rides (or so I label some of the rides as).

[6] Well, just to mention... I did went to Gardens By The Bay and the S.E.A. Aquarium. They were also my maiden visits and I had nice experiences but USS can have a special  note all to itself. Not because it deserves a special note but just that it was the greatest highlight of our trip!

[7] Went back to KK for Qing Ming (Tomb Sweeping) for the first time ever as well. I've been Qing Ming in Brunei almost every year if I could make it but never in KK so it was an experience.

[8] Went to Singapore TWICE during this year. Which was a rare treat since I love travelling and even more so, I LOVE SINGAPORE! First trip in January only with mum and the second one was with the whole family.

[9] Got over with the whole 2 years of A-Level ordeal. Worst 2 years of my life but I've decided to let it go. Maybe, I might just bring it up once in a while to complain and rant a bit then bury it back again.

[10] Made new friends and got closer to old friends. Went to university and made a bunch of nice friends and through certain events, got closer with my old friends who are worth keeping for as long as ever. They're just such nice, sweet souls.

Hehe.. sorry that the above is not in order. I just wrote what popped into my mind at the moment and decided to leave it as that. Laziness at its best. :P So happens that my life is mundane and I have not too many interesting things to post.

Before ending this wrap-up posts, there are some things that I'd like to see in myself in the coming year, 2014. Not a resolution, no New Year New Me thing. Just maybe a few improvements and things that I can do for myself. 

[1] Maintain my GPA which was satisfying this semester. A great encouragement for myself that I can actually do this. Hopefully I can perform better in the coming 2 semesters next year.

[2] Make more new friends? Connect more to old friends?

[3] Be a better person. I just want to be a better me and think better of myself more. Have better patience and not get all hot-headed the entire time. Try to speak gently and be more encouraging towards others. Not to have low-esteems all of the time and maybe, try newer things and experience new things in life.

[4] Possess a healthier lifestyle. No more late-night snacking or sleeping late into the night. Maybe change from a night owl to an early bird?

[5] Go on more travels? I'd love to go back to Singapore again ;)

I cannot think of more as of this moment.. but I'm pretty sure after posting this up, more will come to my head. Haha.

I'm just very thankful for this year. How God's amazing grace has brought me through this year, through all the good, bad and ugly. I'm thankful for all the things that I'm blessed with, no matter how less or more. I'm grateful to all the people that are in my life, for they have encouraged and built me in one way or another.

I'm praying and hoping for a better year ahead. Have a great New Year's celebration everyone!

In God's Grace,

Hannah

p.s. Hehehe.. sorry for such a lengthy post. If you're reading this, you have a lot of patience. Hahaha!!

Exam Fever University Style

I've been meaning to write a post for the month at the least but it never happened until now. Well, my "excuse" is that this past one month has been the most hectic period since I started my 1st ever semester in the university. It has been cramped up with tests, presentations, more tests, assignments, write-ups... the whole lot. You just name it.

Right now, I'm in the midst of having my university exams which happens at the end of the semester. Yup, good news and bad news here. Good news is that it's the end of the semester. Bad news would be the horrible phase of exam that the whole university student body, including I, myself are going through.

I've been through a lot of exams in my entire life. I mean, who has not right? There's always something new to experience and this is my 1st university experience. So far, it has been okay for me... I'm trying to stay afloat. Not all too well but God is good!

It's difficult to study for university exams. Yes, difficult! There are no key answers to past year papers, there are no spoon-fed notes like what we have in high school, only limited help and resources available. It's a little overwhelming at times. I've been spending a lot of my hours in the university library, reading up on my modules' materials, searching for better information from the books (can I tell you that I still suck at finding suitable books in the library? Sucking at finding my course related books takes up even more time!) and trying very hard to just study and revise.

Now I know how hard it is to prepare for a university exam. But then again, I just have to muster up all my courage and brace through this week and I'll be done for the semester. I can't wait for the holiday. 

However, before I start drooling and pining on my coming holidays, I must continue to strive and carry on with my revisions (eeeeeeeessssshhhh~~ I hate studying!!). Coming here for a post is just an excuse to procrastinate my revisions. Heh... I'm a bad example - do not learn this from me!

The above cartoon speaks right through me. This is just too true... for me that is. Hahaha.. just something more entertaining than my writings at the top. 

4 more days to go and I'm done (for the 1st semester that is :P),

Hannah :)

Deadlines

I'm back again with another post! So soon right? Taking Friday today as a small opportunity to take a breather from a very hectic week back at school.

Yesterday especially... was an extremely exhausting day for me. I had an assignment due which I started some time ago but can't seem to be at peace with it. There were constant changes to what I wrote, my references weren't as good (because I'm kinda bad at referencing) and etc. Well, you get the whole picture.

So, with some advise from my course-mate, I managed to get back on track and was more decisive on what I was going to do for assignment (even though I still don't like what I wrote... I felt that it wasn't enough in content though the word count was great). 

My assignment was due yesterday, Thursday, and I burnt the midnight oil past Wednesday night until the wee hours of Thursday morning, making sure that I did things correctly. I was being extremely paranoid at that point to the point that I couldn't even fall asleep though things were done and completed. I guess that the stress crept up on me. 

I only fell asleep when I start to see the light of day outside my window. I slept for about only 3 hours and I had a full day of lectures and tutorials and night time Bible study. Wow! Thinking back to it, I totally wondered how I even survived through the day! I bet that my aunts or my parents will chide me for not having proper sleep and all if they should read about this.

They have been getting on about having proper and regular sleep because bad sleeping patterns wears out a person health-wise. I've to clear that I'm trying to sleep early these days, latest by 11 pm. But, this was a special case as I couldn't sleep because of my assignment deadline and all. Also, I compensated my sleep deprivation by sleeping in until 9.30 am this morning!

I have more deadlines to follow in the coming week and a test tomorrow. Ha! I'm so not ready for it. Anyway, I believe that God is good and I can lean on Him when times get tough.

I came across this a few days ago and I found it pretty true. When you're press for time, your creative juices tend to flow more abundantly. Well, in my case that is. Though I would totally advice you and also make a mental note to myself, to never put things off to the last minute. It wasn't a last minute preparation for me but many of the changes to my assignment was definitely last minute. 

To another hectic week coming ahead,

Hannah

Mid-Semester Break OVER and GONE

Well well well... what's up people? I haven't got the time really nowadays to drop by for a post because guess what? My mid-semester break is officially over and I'm back in uni for classes, tutorials and lectures now.

I'm back here for a short post because I'm currently suffering from a writer's block from writing an essay for my English Language & Linguistics class (yeah... so everybody knows that I'm taking this module... for now). How I wish there's like some magic pen or maybe with a clap, my essay would magically be written, ready to be submitted already. But then, who am I fooling right?! All university students go through this phase I suppose.

I love attending my lectures and classes (really!!! well, maybe not all of them but most! :D) but when there's like so many assignments dumped on you, or in my case, when I get many assignments and project,  I get kind of demotivated to even do them. Like, I lost all my willpower or something. I get really cranky and easily irritated when I'm doing my assignments. (So, don't come near me when I'm doing my work or I'll bite! Just Kidding~~)

And with my writer's block, I decided to come in for a little while and post something on the blog. Hoping that I'd maybe get some inspiration somewhere, somehow to continue my essay.

This reminds me of a picture, titled "Don't Give Up!".

I know I'm not digging for diamonds but you get the meaning of what I'm trying to relay here. I'm trying to give myself a pep talk here like "Giving up is for losers!!" or "Don't be a chicken!".

So yeah, that's what I'm currently experiencing, right here, right now. I guess it's hard for now but I believe that hard work pays off. That's how the saying goes right?

Other than that, I finished most of my assignments except for a couple of my essays and a small part of a video project that I'm working on with a group of friends. My Korean video is done and submitted!! Hopefully, it fulfills my teacher's requirements and get a good grade for it. I find the Korean video that 3 of my friends and I made very funny!! Okay, maybe VERY FUNNY TO US only... but I can never watch on because it's SO EMBARRASSING! *fingers crossed that my Korean teacher won't show it to the rest of the class*

Oh and before I end for this post, I came over a pretty cute cartoon. It's "OCTOBEAR" now! Hahaha!! Get it?! Get it?! "OCTOBEAR" = "OCTOBER"??!! Oh okay.. not funny.

Lame, I know... Well, I've got to get going now. Have a great week ahead errrrbody!!

Gonna go finish up my essay now, toodles!

Hannah

p.s. Was supposed to publish this post at around 11pm but then there was an electricity outage in the house. Took up about 40 minutes to fix it. So here it is! :)

Mid-Semester Break 2013

Okay okay.. I didn't keep my promise. I didn't update my blog regularly or so I thought I could... BUT the thing is that, I've been so busy with my university assignments and tests that I barely have any time left for me to squeeze in for a post. 

Well, maybe I would have had the time but time is so, so precious these days that it's better off used to do some other more "beneficial" things (like sleep maybe :P). So, this is why that this blog has been put off.

And I kind of have a bit of time on my hands right now because it's the start of my 2 weeks long mid-semester break. I actually thought that I could, you know, relax and enjoy my holiday... but am I ever so wrong!!! I'm now piled up with essays, presentations and video assignments to prepare and finish before the mid-semester break ends. Oh boy...

That's just a little update from me. More to come soon, hopefully! I've got nothing interesting really, to talk about because my life is just that uneventful. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's pretty good for me :)

So far so good,

Hannah

p.s. Came across this I fell in love with that cute, cuddly white puff!! It's waving~~ HELLO/BYE!!

Growing up with Tom and Jerry

Just wanting to share something to break the long silence here on the blog. (I've been very, very, very busy ><)

I saw something that intrigued me while surfing 9GAG just now. 

I find the above statements absolutely so true. 

"Childhood is time when you like Jerry and admire his smartness. Maturity is time when you understand, that Jerry is a complete asshole and you feel sorry for Tom."

I've spent a fair share of my childhood watching cartoons on TV and one of the cartoons that I used to like watching was 'Tom and Jerry' alongside with Dexter's Laboratory, Powerpuff Girls, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, Totally Spies, Kim Possible and many, many more. I can't believe how much TV I watched. 

I was no couch potato when I was younger. I spent a lot of time playing outdoors in the neighbourhood with the neighbourhood children. I remembered how my grandma who used to watch us (her grandchildren) during the day would bar us from going outdoors to play and we would sneak out anyway and get into trouble when we came back home. Oh, how I miss the good fun in the old days...

Sorry for side-tracking and back to the topic. I used to enjoy Jerry's wits and enjoyed Jerry always outsmarting Tom. I used to hate Tom as a kid, like why did Tom always bully Jerry and make trouble for Jerry. Obviously, I loved it when Jerry won over Tom and think that Tom deserves what he got.

But as I grew older and re-watch those exact same cartoons that I've seen as a child, I find Jerry a nuisance and I would empathise with Tom. Watching Tom and Jerry with an older mindset makes me realised that it was Jerry who caused and find himself all the troubles and lands himself in all the mess that he created. In the end, I grew to dislike Jerry.  I find him rather annoying. HAHA!!

Growing up really does changes people huh?

Here's to growing up,

Hannah

Just an update on Hannah's life

I've been pretty busy these days. Mostly busy with the piano. Yes, piano! 

Actually, I haven't been going for my piano lessons since last October, which makes it about 9 months since I've been playing the piano on a regular basis. Sorry Teacher Fel! I promised her that I'll be back for lessons soon after my A Level but I've been dragging on and on - because of me travelling often, being away from Brunei and being occupied with other commitments.

I'm a little rusty with the piano even though I've been playing it at times (rarely!). I've been asked to write out music scores for a couple of songs for Sunday School and I'm trying my best to do it. It's a challenge for me because I'm not a musically inclined person (I have to practice a lot compared to those natural talents who pick music up easily) but it's been nice, spending lots of hours with my piano. I do enjoy my moments spent with it :)

Also, I'm trying to blog more often. Compared to last year, in the course of 6 months (I started back in June 2012), I've blogged about double or even triple the amount of posts than I do this 6 months (2013). Yeah, I know. I'm not the most consistent person out there but at least there's some progress going on or as some would say, it's better than nothing.

I didn't know that my dad reads my blog - but I did talk to my dad about my blog at times (the very few times, countable on one hand). My dad says that I don't blog about anything much that's going on around me and my life, but instead blog about the more general things and other people or other events and so on.

I admit that I'm not very comfortable with sharing about my very personal life (only general stuff) or personal pictures or whatsoever personal here on my blog just yet, since it's open for public to see. I did those though for my previous blogs. Haha!!

I think as I grow older, I tend to keep more and more things to myself. Even my Facebook account! I was really active with Facebook a few years ago but as I age, I don't even update my Facebook anymore. I only use Facebook to stalk catch up with other people's life events. 

I think that maybe I should start slowly. There are family members of mine who are living far away from where I am who are reading my blog as well and I'm sure there's a certain few (won't name you out :P) who are always curious about me. So maybe, just maybe, I may start revealing my more personal bits and pieces. But it's just that nothing much or interesting is going on in my life right now.

Other than that, I hope that my days ahead for this week would be better. Fell into a big slump for the past weekend because I wasn't in my best condition and was feeling rather awful and lethargic - I was really easily irritated and annoyed and got all moody and upset about many useless things. I didn't want to talk to anybody because I just wanted to be left alone. I think I scared quite a few people because I'm usually portrayed as a friendly and amicable person (I think :P).

I feel sorry for the few people that I wasn't very friendly and nice to. I want to apologise sincerely right here (that is if you're reading this. Haha!). I wasn't really myself for the past weekend because I was just so sore and tired, just feeling really stressed about the past hectic week that had taken a toll on myself. Sorry!!

I'm going to be facing another busy week next week. Kind of looking forward to it but at the same time, not so ready to face it. Can't make up my mind about how I feel - mixed feelings.

Just trying to keep myself afloat now. I can do this.

Sorry that it's such a lengthy and wordy post.

Hannah

p.s. I just checked and this blog of mine is officially 1 year old!! Yay me!! :D Reality strikes since 12th June 2012 - 1 year and counting.

Grow in experience, find happiness in the ordinary.

I was watching a Singaporean Film - Timeless Love (Chinese title: 那个夏天) the other day, that I came across this quote that I find rather meaningful. Oh, the movie is quite nice. Many of my favourite cast were in it. Go watch it if you can. :)

The original quote in Chinese from the movie itself:

人生要经历风雨，才能窥见彩虹的美丽；要经历过挫折，才会认识自身的不足；要经历过失去，才会懂得珍惜现在所拥有的；要经历过痛苦，才会明白幸福多么不容易。

在经历中成长，在平凡中寻找快乐。

For those who doesn't read Chinese, below is a rough translation of the text above that I tried my best to make out of:

In life, one must experience the storms of life to catch a glimpse of the beauty of the rainbow; one must experience setbacks in order to recognise their own shortcomings; one must experience loss then only will they know how to cherish what they currently have; one must experience pain to know that happiness is not easy.

Grow in experience, find happiness in the ordinary. 

Don't you find the quote speaking about some of the rules in life? All the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. 

In life, we have taken many things for granted. Only when we lose sight of something, then only will we start to panic and grieve. Then it'll be a little to late to get back that moment in time. Slow down, take some time to appreciate the little things around us. :)

Slow down and live life,

Hannah

The Better Person

Today, I broke down and cried. I cried in disappointment, in anguish... 

There's so much emotions stored up in me, that I couldn't take it anymore, that I just sat down and cried. I tried to recollect myself but I just couldn't. The many feelings that has been kept inside of me, the feelings that no one else besides me that knows and understands... the bottled up feelings just came pouring out through the streaming tears, flowing down from my eyes, staining the bed-sheet and the clothes that I was wearing.

I just cried and cried and cried. While crying, I was praying. I was asking God to calm down my heart. I prayed for peace and for comfort... but the tears just continued rolling down my face. Like God was just asking me to just cry it all out instead of keeping all the negativity that I gradually stored inside of me.

It was the first time in a long time that I've cried so hard that my shoulders just shook uncontrollably. I cry because I'm hurt. I cry because I'm tired. I cry because I'm angry with myself. I've put up a strong front for a long time that I've exhausted myself and had to cry to relief myself.

I've always been trying to be the better person among the people around me so that I can see them be happy. I'm the kind of person that becomes happy when I see others being happy, most of the time though, not always as I'm only human.

This is me.

The person who tries to give the best to the people around her. 

The person who gives in to others so that they could be happier. 

The person who does the unwanted job that nobody wants to do just so that everyone is happy in the end.

The person who gets into unfavourable circumstances so that the people around her can stay in their own familiarities, their own comfort zone.

Despite being the better person (not all the time because I'm imperfect), have I lose out? I find that I've thrown myself into a deep hole unknowingly, unable to get myself out at times. There were many times that I really did not want to be the better person, like the time where I was being volunteered by others to do the things they didn't want to do so that they can stay in their own skin.

I wondered if the people around me have ever spared a feeling for me or ever tried to understand me. Have they tried to understand where I'm coming from? Have my being a better person gave others an upper hand, taking advantage me? Have my giving in become a norm that they can do whatever they want?

There's many questions that I asked myself, like why am I always the disadvantaged one? Why am I always stuck in these kind of mess? Why is things so unfair? Why don't I get treated better when I've treated everyone as nice as I could?

Sometimes, being the better person sucks. I'm not asking for any acknowledgments but it would be nice to be treated a little better. It's like me being the better person has become a natural to them, sometimes even being taken for granted.

I tell myself at times, why do I even bother? Does anybody sees the good works that I do? 

I was doing my quiet time a little later after my breakdown just now. Right then, this verse came across. It's not the first time such a thing has happened before. It's like the words that God has wanted to tell me or something. 

Colossians 3:17 (New International Version)

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I don't do good things or be the better person just because I want others to see all the works or the sacrifices that I've done. It all comes back to the starting point. Seeing others happy makes me happy as well. Though not all the time, I would try to tell myself that it's all worth it.

To all the people who have been the better person just so that I could have better opportunities, I'm very thankful to you. Even though I could have forgotten to thank you, I would like to say a BIG Thank You to all of those who've been so considerate and nice to me. To me, your selfless sacrifices and love has been so amazing that I'm constantly inspired to be the better person. 

After much crying and praying and the Bible verse that I came across during my devotion, I felt a sense of calmness and peace over me. Because to me, God was the BIGGEST and the BEST person of all time, sending His Son to die for us on the cruel cross so that we may have salvation. 

Always and after remembering how Christ has sacrificed Himself for us, it makes me want to be the better person. It's not always easy, but I'm sure with God's strength, I can do all things.

Love and Grace,

Hannah

^ The truth. True feelings from the bottom of my heart.

Learning how to drive

I haven't been updating this blog as often as I ought to. Just a short update here, to let everyone know that I'm still alive over here :P

Hmm.. what have I been doing these days?

I've been taking my driving lessons for some time now (I have yet to fulfill the 15 hours minimum of driving practice). I'm hoping to get my driver's license soon but I'm not  very confident that I'll pass in one go. I have tiny fears while driving on the road. It's not all that easy and fun as many thought it would be.. well, for me that is. It'll definitely ease my parents' burdens if I could drive.

Well, here in Brunei, all driving learners must drive and learn with a MANUAL car. Manual car scares me! An automatic car has only two pedals -the brakes and the accelerator. Meanwhile, in a manual car, there's an extra pedal - the clutch, other than than the 2 mentioned before.

I hate stick driving! For some of you that don't know, stick driving means driving a manual car. It's like you have to change the gear stick all the time and while you change, you got to press on the clutch. Also, if you don't have good handling on the clutch.. oh boy, you're gonna have a hard time driving a manual car because your car will stall like crazy!!

I stalled far too many times during my first lesson. It was my first time ever behind the wheels (yes, I'm a law abiding citizen, not secretly driving out and about without a license) and driving a manual is quite a handful or in this case, feetful? :P

Your hands and feet must coordinate together. Some people will tell me that it's easy just because playing the piano, which I do, also requires hand and foot coordination. It's very different and much more difficult from playing the piano. While driving on the road, looking out for cars, you also have to move your hands, one changing the gears and another one on the steering wheel.

When on the slopes, you've got to listen to the correct engine sound to change pedals so that your car wouldn't fall backwards. While parking, you've got to learn how to estimate the space correctly . On the roundabouts, make sure you don't stall, drive and signal correctly when changing lanes. All these... I haven't yet a perfect grasp but I'm still practicing and I'm sure one day I'll be as good as all the other experienced drivers out there.

When driving, you not only have to consider your own safety but also the safety of your passengers and other road users as well. There are many road bullies on the road and I've met quite a few of them while practicing driving on the main roads other than practicing in the driving circuit at the Land Transport Department. They just cut your lane without signalling in a really fast speed and all... and that sometimes make my driving instructor go mad as well. :( 

While on this topic, I'll apologise to the other road users that I've met while practicing driving. Sorry for being so slow, sorry for lacking in better driving skills and confidence, sorry for being a possible road hazard. Thank you to all the nice drivers for understanding a learning driver - for making way and slowing down or even flashing your headlights, giving us good opportunities to proceed especially at the U-turns whenever you see a practice car on the road. Nice drivers do help me gain more confidence when using the roads.

To all the drivers out there, be nice to the learning and new drivers (not referring to myself only but also to the rest of the new road users). You were also once a rookie driver. It'll help us, the new drivers, a lot. To the nice and kind drivers that I've encounter, thank you so much and keep on looking out for the new drivers. It could be irritating at times, but your patience does helps and would not intimidate the new drivers as much as being on the road is already a scary experience especially for first-timers.

To a certain friend, Jonathan, who tried to change my mind about stick driving... nope, I still hate stick driving as much as I hate it in the first place. I'll stick to auto driving when I get my driver's license. :)

This short update turned out to be such a long-winded post. Sorry about that. I do get carried away at times while writing a post. :P

Drive safe :)

Hannah

Qing Ming in Sabah

I'm currently back in KK with my dad for QingMing (or if translated into English would be "Tomb Sweeping Day"). Well, QingMing this year 2013 would be on the 4th of April but due to the inconvenience, we always have our QingMing earlier than the original date (which would be the 104th day after the winter solstice).

It's said that the Chinese offers food, burns incense, joss sticks and paper gifts, for the departed but my family does not practice this ritual. We'd just do the normal weeding and cleaning of the graves, and gifting of fresh flowers.

It's only for a short couple of days while here in KK. So many things to do in so little time. Oh well. It's the FIRST TIME EVER that I'll be sweeping the tombs in Sabah. I'd usually do it in Brunei all the time since I lived there but since I'm free during this period of time, I decided to tag along with dad and it's worth the experience.

I've heard how much harder it is going to the cemeteries here in Sabah from my dad and aunts because quite a few of the tombs of my ancestors and relatives are situated up among the hills and it's going to be a tough ascend. It's already hard for my aunts and dad, it'll be even worse for me ><

So, let's pray and hope that my family and I would not get hurt or injured anywhere and also that I'll have sufficient stamina and strength to hike up to the tombs.

Peace and love,

Hannah