My Panic Issues

So, I have finished my mock exams already. Guess what? I think that this A Level mock exams are like one of the worst experience ever. I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or whatever I am, I can never seem to do as well as how others expect me to. I just always fall short. I get nervous breakdowns.. note the "s", which means I have had multiple panic attack each exam. Let me tell you what. PANIC ATTACK SUCKS!

I've clearly revised and study for my exams by reviewing notes and doing past years' exam papers. I thought that I remembered many facts that I needed for my exam but just when I set foot into the exam hall, I start to get all nervous, sweaty and scared. It all settles down just as I'm prepared to start writing and such. However, just when I opened the question paper  after being told to do so, the panic attack starts again. Oh boy, what I memorised and remembered then goes down the drain. What is this?! My panic attacks makes my mind goes blank and makes me forget EVERYTHING!

While many of my school peers are still having their mock exams (due to different subjects on different days, mine finished earlier), I'm excused from school. Being not having school today, I still went back to school to amend my exam schedule for my final exam next couple of months and I took some time to go meet my sociology teacher. My sociology teacher is one of the BEST TEACHER I've ever have! Seriously, he's the one who encourages me and gives me some hope even when all seems dark with my studies. He knew about my panic issues since last year's finals and he told me to calm down (in a very nice and gentle way, of course).

When I met him this morning, he asked me if my panic attacks happened again. He said that my AS sociology results does no justice to what I've done and revised. Well, I do take some pride off my assignments which I've always tried my best at it and it always got me good homework grades. :) He assumed that I panicked just before the exam (which I clearly did before, during and after the exam ><). After some chatting while I met up with him this morning, he told me to try to fix my panic issues because it's clearly affecting my studies and my results. He also told me that with some good revision and no panic attacks, I'll do good in all my future exams. Thank you for reassuring me! :)

I can't seem to understand why I get these panic attacks either. I tried not to let it happen but it just always happens and I always felt like it's the end of the world after the exam. Sigh.. I need a remedy for this. Maybe it's just my personality or it could well be my psychological thinking? I don't really know. But what I know is that having nervous breakdowns sucks and it feels like I've died a little inside.

Hopefully this problem of mine will be resolved very soon, because I'm having my finals in a month's time and i can't afford to lose out anymore. Also, I'm prepared to do very badly and maybe fail a couple of subjects for my mocks. This is just sad.. very sad. This totally sucks.. BIG TIME.

Trying to fix my freaking nervous breakdowns,

Hannah

Disclaimer: All photos or pictures aren't mine unless stated so. Credits to the original uploader.