Just an update on Hannah's life

I've been pretty busy these days. Mostly busy with the piano. Yes, piano! 

Actually, I haven't been going for my piano lessons since last October, which makes it about 9 months since I've been playing the piano on a regular basis. Sorry Teacher Fel! I promised her that I'll be back for lessons soon after my A Level but I've been dragging on and on - because of me travelling often, being away from Brunei and being occupied with other commitments.

I'm a little rusty with the piano even though I've been playing it at times (rarely!). I've been asked to write out music scores for a couple of songs for Sunday School and I'm trying my best to do it. It's a challenge for me because I'm not a musically inclined person (I have to practice a lot compared to those natural talents who pick music up easily) but it's been nice, spending lots of hours with my piano. I do enjoy my moments spent with it :)

Also, I'm trying to blog more often. Compared to last year, in the course of 6 months (I started back in June 2012), I've blogged about double or even triple the amount of posts than I do this 6 months (2013). Yeah, I know. I'm not the most consistent person out there but at least there's some progress going on or as some would say, it's better than nothing.

I didn't know that my dad reads my blog - but I did talk to my dad about my blog at times (the very few times, countable on one hand). My dad says that I don't blog about anything much that's going on around me and my life, but instead blog about the more general things and other people or other events and so on.

I admit that I'm not very comfortable with sharing about my very personal life (only general stuff) or personal pictures or whatsoever personal here on my blog just yet, since it's open for public to see. I did those though for my previous blogs. Haha!!

I think as I grow older, I tend to keep more and more things to myself. Even my Facebook account! I was really active with Facebook a few years ago but as I age, I don't even update my Facebook anymore. I only use Facebook to stalk catch up with other people's life events. 

I think that maybe I should start slowly. There are family members of mine who are living far away from where I am who are reading my blog as well and I'm sure there's a certain few (won't name you out :P) who are always curious about me. So maybe, just maybe, I may start revealing my more personal bits and pieces. But it's just that nothing much or interesting is going on in my life right now.

Other than that, I hope that my days ahead for this week would be better. Fell into a big slump for the past weekend because I wasn't in my best condition and was feeling rather awful and lethargic - I was really easily irritated and annoyed and got all moody and upset about many useless things. I didn't want to talk to anybody because I just wanted to be left alone. I think I scared quite a few people because I'm usually portrayed as a friendly and amicable person (I think :P).

I feel sorry for the few people that I wasn't very friendly and nice to. I want to apologise sincerely right here (that is if you're reading this. Haha!). I wasn't really myself for the past weekend because I was just so sore and tired, just feeling really stressed about the past hectic week that had taken a toll on myself. Sorry!!

I'm going to be facing another busy week next week. Kind of looking forward to it but at the same time, not so ready to face it. Can't make up my mind about how I feel - mixed feelings.

Just trying to keep myself afloat now. I can do this.

Sorry that it's such a lengthy and wordy post.

Hannah

p.s. I just checked and this blog of mine is officially 1 year old!! Yay me!! :D Reality strikes since 12th June 2012 - 1 year and counting.

Up, Up, Up

I've been very busy for the past month of May. Hectic and stressful but I'm thankful that by God's grace, I'm able to overcome whatever challenges that came my way even though I almost just broke down all the way a few times. Tears, fear, anger, desperation - a roller coaster month for me! I was so caught up in my world that I haven't have got the time to use the computer except for a few short times here and there.

I actually finished the work that held me by the neck by the end of May. I had a lot more freedom this June, or more so, the past 5 days :) I couldn't be more happier and I've been meeting up with friends who came back home for Summer from university and college overseas and most of all, DOING A WHOLE LOT OF READING! (I'll get back to my books in the next post soon to come, so stay tune)

Well, in the midst of all the crazy busy-ness, I actually went online that one day - 21st May. You know, just to check up on my emails that was piling up and to escape my responsibilities for just a little while. While I was scrolling down my Facebook feed, I came across an article that came with a video which showed a story of Zach Sobiech.

The article was about an 18-years-old boy who just died and the video that was about 22 minutes long is about his life after he found out that he was dying from osteosarcoma. 

I've included the video that I watched here for easier viewing.

I watched the entire video, pausing a few times halfway through because it was really hard to watch it through knowing that this kid just died a day ago (or less than a day ago since my time zone and his time zone were vastly different). 

While watching it, I was thinking of how pain and sufferings that he has endured for the past few years, the sorrows and grieve his family and friends were feeling. This feeling caught me personally since I've been through this a couple of times and the last was just a year ago. 

I'm just amazed at how optimistic Zach is through this entire ordeal. He even had a girlfriend who was his pillar of strength and support for the past 11 months before he died. Videos like this always make me think about me, my life. Like, what in the world am I doing with myself while somebody somewhere is struggling and trying so hard just to survive?!

I love one of his quote that has been haunting me in the back of my head:

"You don't have to find out you're dying to start living"

I've read comments saying that this is such an inspiration and all. Yes, I do agree. I've watched a fair share of such videos and every videos like these always open up another small part of me, changing my perspectives about myself, my life and the world, little by little. It's not a 180 degree of change but enough to improve myself slowly.

Also, another thing that caught my attention was that instead of writing farewell letters to family and friends, Zach wrote a song so that everyone can have a little part of him. It's called "Clouds" and I love the song! I've been playing it again and again and again. Singing it here and there many times, over and over again.

The above is the video of his song "Clouds". I find the lyrics really touching and meaningful, inspired by his girlfriend if I'm not wrong. It's just beautiful. 

Just sharing a bit of my thoughts about Zach, who's a fighter. I've never met him but it seems like I know him already. Even though it's been a few weeks since he passed away, I still pray and hope that his family will stay strong and take comfort in the fact that Zach is no more suffering and in pain. God loves His children. :)

Up, up, up,

Hannah